Hi! I’m Comrade Eevee. I’m from the future! The year 2038 to be exact. I have made this site to help developers and startups figure out if they need to make a coin or put something on the blockchain for their project. Just fill in the form on the main page, and I’ll tell you if you need to do this!

This advanced tech is powered by IBM’s blockchain and Watson after IBM decided to put him on their blockchain in 2025. We still have no idea what IBM does in the future, so it’s okay if you don’t know what they do now.

I’ll answer a few questions about this here.

Are you really from 2038?

Yes. I work at an AWS server farm, I’m addicted to God Emperor Elon Musk’s Martian Spice Melange, and if my job found out I did this I’d be canned. I’m also a communist pokemon on the internets, so there is that. At least I have managed to acquire internets long enough to make this site. That in of itself is a miracle. Only

This page is 100% satire, and if you haven’t figured that out…shrug I don’t really care. You are here of your own accord and listening to someone that claims to the a timetraveller from 2038. Also, spoiler, McAfee ate his own dick on a Twitch stream. That is a thing that canonically happened (in my 2038 fanfiction) because btc never hit $1MM USD. Please do not take financial advice from me. That is objectively a bad idea. I am a cryptocurrency skeptic, a kinda nocoiner (i have some doge), and an asshole. If you are listening to me, it is because you are also a skeptic and think this is the new tulips or beanie babies. Please support the official release, and enjoy the fuck out of your popcorn.

Why is this so shitty?

This was an idea I had driving home from work, and I made it half drunk on a Friday night when I have to work the following Saturday. This is how I live my life.

Why does it only say no?

…because the solution to the problem you want to solve is a fucking database you fucking dingus. Or it is a nonproblem in general. Take your pick.